Oh no, Kate. Not again. How my heart sank when I saw the Duchess has had yet another embarrassing wardrobe malfunction, this time as she prepared to board a helicopter with her husband, William.
Pictures published yesterday by a German newspaper show Kate during the royal couple’s recent tour of Australia and New Zealand, when her flimsy Diane von Furstenberg frock was lifted sky-high by a gust from the chopper’s blades, exposing her bare bottom.
A cheeky passing photographer managed to capture the Duchess’s rear in all its glory.
To make matters more humiliating, Kate appears to be wearing a thong that would make even a cheese cutter wince.
First, let me say that it was wrong of the newspaper to publish the pictures. The British press had refused to print them, but the shots had gone to the highest worldwide bidder.
And it’s terribly sad for Kate that her pert derriere will now be the image that forever marks any recollection of her and William’s triumphant tour.
How mortifying for any woman to be pictured in such an unedifying way.
But I couldn’t help but think that surely Kate could have tried a little harder to keep her modesty under wraps? As a relatively seasoned member of the Royal Family, isn’t it time she made more of an effort to cover up?
After all, every woman — especially a public figure who is constantly photographed — knows that a lightweight fly-away dress and the merest threat of a breeze hardly marks the right occasion to wear the skimpiest knickers in your drawer.
Indeed, sadly I feel there is barely a part of the Duchess’s body that I haven’t seen. It’s not so long ago that Kate was snapped topless on a French holiday with William.
And while, despicably, those pictures were taken while the couple were on private property by a photographer with a long-lens camera and were not published in the British press, it’s fair to say that the Duchess was taking a risk when she walked on the terrace without her bikini top on.
And these pictures, too, marred an otherwise successful foreign tour.
Kate had to attend a Malaysian mosque on the very day half of Europe, and anyone with an internet connection, was being treated to the sight of the Duchess’s bare decolletage.
A Monroe moment on her first royal tour in Canada (left) and fashion faux pas at a wedding last year (right)
This time, though, Kate’s managed to reveal all during a very public event, at a moment when she knew the cameras and the eyes of the world were on her. And her tendency to flash the flesh is starting to look worryingly like a habit.
For this wasn’t her only immodest mistake on tour.
From the moment of her arrival in New Zealand, Kate managed to show parts of her body that surely should be for her husband’s eyes only.
She greeted the Press in a red floaty skirt that whooshed up the moment she stepped off the plane at Wellington airport, revealing her incredibly toned upper thighs.
Kate must know that, whether it’s a first-class flight or Ryanair, the moment you step off a plane the wind is the worst enemy of any woman in a skirt.
Tummy trouble: Revealing all at the volleyball soon after giving birth to Prince George
And during her 2011 tour of Canada, the newly-wed Duchess again came very close to showing the waiting photographers her bottom when her skimpy yellow frock flew skywards on a Calgary airfield.
Indeed, whether it’s a game of netball or the welcoming line at a charity event, it seems that Kate always manages to show us a part of her body she shouldn’t.
So Kate, let me give you a little advice. Yes, it’s all very well blaming the photographers, but you are the future Queen. It’s time you took control of this situation.
After all, even Camilla has followed the Queen’s lead, sewing little weights into her hems.
And if you can’t bear the faff of putting weights in your skirts (although one can only presume that you have dressmakers who can do the stitching for you), perhaps it’s time to go for a longer skirt? Or even for a pair of undies that are, shall we say, a little more substantial?
Decorum bites the dust: Kate flashed her legs at the premiere for Mandela (left) and a City charity event (right)
Rather than a thong, why not go for the sturdy, reliable Rigby & Peller. If they’re good enough for Her Majesty, surely they’re good enough for Kate?
Put simply, Kate, we do not expect our future Queen to moon.
The Duchess does have a role model in all this: Diana, Princess of Wales. William has gone to great lengths to ensure his mother’s memory lives on in Kate.
They now live in her old Kensington Palace apartment, where William and Harry were raised.
Kate wears Diana’s engagement ring. But one thing she hasn’t done is to learn from her mistakes.
I remember when the newly engaged Diana appeared in a strapless black velvet evening gown on one of her first public appearances, and her magnificent figure spilled out of the top of her dress as she got out of her car.
News flashes: Kate’s skirt stood no chance against the wind recently in New Zealand (left) and Canada (right)
The images were duly flashed around the world, much to her and the Palace’s embarrassment.
This came after the Princess’s first photo faux pas just after her engagement when, as a nursery teacher, she was snapped in a sheer skirt, her shapely legs clearly visible for the world to see.
Those two humiliating occasions were enough. Never did such unwitting, fulsome exposure happen again.
Whenever Diana flashed the flesh after this humiliation she did so with intent.
From then on, when she had to, the Princess used her clothes to convey a message — be it a call for attention or a cry for help.
But such is the frequency of Kate’s wardrobe malfunctions, one can’t help but wonder what message she’s trying to send. Certainly, it’s not one that is contributing to the decorum of the Royal Family